


Feared and Coveted

by CryptidBane (Impetus)



Series: Quiet [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Discussions of death, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 08:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14614344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impetus/pseuds/CryptidBane
Summary: Magnus asks a question. Alec doesn’t quite understand why, but he tries to answer it anyway.





	Feared and Coveted

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited drabble that just...happened.

There have always been people who coveted his eyes. Magnus was no stranger to curiosity and fear, but even more familiar were those who wanted to reach out and pluck the golden, slit-pupiled prizes from his skull.

For a mantelpiece perhaps. Just like the decorative horns Magnus used to walk past at the New York Institute. They were not antlers from a buck, and Magnus knew it. The shadowhunters of the institute knew it too.

Magnus did not know if he preferred those who wanted to scratch his eyes out to those who would carve them out with care. Would it be so selfish to prefer a death by fear rather than by sport? 

He didn’t know. He never would, for he refused to answer the question himself, Catarina was too kind, and Ragnor was dead.

Perhaps Raphael. But far be it from him to place such weighty thoughts on his son, a man who still struggled to keep his newest and most powerful vampire charge in check. Never let it be said that Magnus did not love fiercely, deeply, and protectively. 

Or maybe, perhaps, a different question for Alexander.

“What would you do with my eyes?” Magnus asked in a flight of fancy and too much wine. He sat, cradled against the curve of Alec’s too-tall body, and swirled the glass before pressing it to his stained lips. He set it aside after he finished the rest. 

For a long moment, Magnus heard nothing but low breath. Alec’s chest pressed against his back as long, archery-callused fingers drew patterns into the loose folds of his silk shirt.

“I don’t know what you mean by that,” Alec whispered, finally.

“What would you do with my eyes?” Magnus repeated, emboldened now by a desperate sort of want. A need, even. “If I died in battle, what would you do with my eyes?”

Alec, who would not scratch them out. He has had too many chances to do so. Alec who reviled the _trophies_ that old shadowhunter families still kept on display. He removed any traces from his institute once he had the authority and gave them to Magnus for rites of passing to be performed, if that was what Magnus felt was right.

Magnus liked the hallway much better without those decorative horns. True, that warlocks were more than just the pieces that marked them as _different_ , but those horns and his eyes, they were part of someone whole and beautiful. He thought he’d reclaimed his eyes, but still, not even a month ago, he hesitated to leave them unglamored around his own home. 

It took over four hundred years and an earnest shadowhunter. But now, as he blinked in all of his glory, Magnus pressed on.

“What would you do with them, Alexander?”

“What would you want me to do?” Alec breathed against Magnus’ neck. His voice hung, uncertain and uncomfortable.

Magnus said nothing, and Alec held him closer.

“I don’t know,” Alec mumbled awkwardly. “I don’t like thinking of you dying.”

His Alexander with a bowed head, so powerful, gentle, loving, and oh so beautiful. 

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered. Time passed, and the even breath Magnus felt turned harried and thready.

“I’d mourn them,” Alec said. Wet, sticky heat dropped onto the curve of Magnus’ shoulder. “I’d mourn you.”

Magnus turned in Alec’s grasp. He kissed away the shy tears that skittered across Alec’s cheeks and muttered apologies.

Alec looked at him, eyes glassy and confused.

Magnus smiled ruefully.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair of me.”

“Why did you ask?”

“Because I wanted to know,” Magnus murmured into Alec’s collarbone.

“I don’t want to think about mourning you,” Alec said, voice thick. “I want to hold you, cherish you.” He leaned in and Magnus’ eyes fluttered and closed. “I’d rather show you how much I love you.”

Lips, gentle and plush, settled against each eyelid in turn. A deep breath.

“You know, darling. I’d like that as well.”

And as they made amends, Magnus wondered what he’d wanted to hear. He didn’t know and never would.

Being held, cherished, and mourned didn’t sound so bad. But as Alec drifted into sleep, Magnus hummed promises into the silence.

I will never let you mourn me or my eyes.

I will live for you.

I will love you, always.

And Magnus refused to think about the day he would mourn Alec’s warmth and runes. So he slept instead.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it even a little bit, please leave me some kudos! If you liked it a lot then a comment would be SUPER appreciated!  
> If you just want to yell about it with me, please hit me up on tumblr @SagittaMagna
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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